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Growth can be tricky. One moment, it’s healthy criticism, the next, people have unconsciously fallen into destructive signs of self-stigma.
Humans are their own worst critics.
Under the veil of self-improvement, people often become too critical of themselves, condemning flaws that could’ve been normal and overlooked. This overstresses what the self lacks, highlighting errors in its nature. Instead of improving, people fall into patterns of rumination, hindering themselves from moving past their insufficiency and spiraling into self-fulfilling prophecies.
The Pervasiveness of Negative Self-Talk
Self-criticism is a natural part of humanity, so much more than self-praise. It’s a characteristic deeply woven into human nature, an unavoidable inclination of the human mind.
When society claims that people are their worst critics, it draws around the brain’s natural tendency to scan and look for threats. Yet, instead of picking physical dangers, it often ends up introspecting and nitpicking traits that threaten the self-concept. This is when self-criticism emerges, the mind’s attempt at fixing those that threaten the self.
However, there’s an underlying problem with this mechanism.
Often, people’s desire for perfection or constant improvement strikes them with the harshest criticisms. Regardless of their successes, people constantly question themselves or feel ashamed of the goals they miss. It’s always about what they lack and not what they’re abundant of—a constant desire to gain what they don’t rather than honor what they do.
This dissatisfaction pushes them to unconsciously develop signs of self-stigma or the unrelenting discrediting of the self. Self-stigma marks the endless cycle of shame people enforce upon themselves, holding their worth and esteem down with perceived inefficiency.
What Are the Signs of Self-Stigma?
In Stories of Stigma, an empowering book against self-stigma, author Greg Hitchcock expands on people’s issues with themselves. He unravels the bleak crevices in the mind, tackling the signs of self-stigma that feed into these and what people can do to diminish them.
Buy the book on amazon: Click here
The book aims to draw ways to free people from the chains that drag them down.
However, before attempting to escape from this mental imprisonment, it’s imperative that people look for where they should cut the cord first. Spotting the signs of self-stigma will help make addressing these issues easier. These tell-tale signs help with coping and prevent the patterns from happening again.
Claiming the Blame for Their Situations
While people are responsible for regulating and appropriately expressing their emotions, they aren’t entirely and solely at fault when things go awry. The belief that people are accountable for their conditions stems from prejudiced notions about mental health, which are harmful to actualize.
When people begin to consider these assumptions, they’re almost as if belittling themselves. Self-blame will spark permeating negative ideas that will eat away at their self-worth. This belief is one of the tell-tale signs of self-stigma as it forces people to carry all the blame for their conditions, which won’t benefit themselves. This can also encourage them to practice unhealthy coping mechanisms or reel back from reaching out for professional help.
The reality is it’s never the person’s fault. People’s lives are ever-influenced by social factors that can mold them to be who they are or be in their conditions. If they’re struggling, this doesn’t mean people have dug their graves, nor does this mean they deserve it.
Constantly Practicing Negative Self-Talk
One of the most evident signs of self-stigma is how people talk to themselves and about themselves. Do they only recognize their mistakes and insufficiencies? Or do they also honor the good things that have happened in their lives? If people typically veer toward the former, maybe it’s high time to consider that they’re deeply prejudiced about themselves.
Those who constantly nitpick and subconsciously end up only recognizing their mistakes will never see themselves whole. They will only see what they lack and attempt to fill these spaces. While it may seem beneficial, especially for their growth, this can also prompt people to stigmatize themselves.
There is a thin line between criticizing themselves for growth and ending up in a cycle of rumination. Instead of working on what they lack, they will continue to feed their self-concept with negativities and hurtful ideologies.
Alienating the Self From Others
When people are neck-deep in negative thoughts and self-talk, they will begin to separate themselves from others. This is because they’ve already too belittled themselves; they believe they don’t function similarly to others. The more people think they’re insufficient, the more they’ll feel to not belong to the population.
One of the signs of self-stigma that most may experience is social withdrawal brought about by the negativity they’ve prophesized for themselves.
What’s Next?
These are some of the signs of self-stigma people must look out for. If they believe they’ve fallen victim to it, the next step is to challenge their perspectives and shift negative beliefs. This can be challenging, but with the proper support, people will learn to cultivate a safe space to hold themselves and their emotions.